Kids' Checklist for Leaving the House

You may have a mental checklist for leaving the house, but the kids have their own...

Kids' Checklist for Leaving the House:

-Remove at least one article of clothing after Mom dresses you, but before making it out of the door.

-Spill something (preferably a liquid, and preferably on your clothes).

-Take your socks and shoes off.

-Demand a band-aid for an injury that is only visible to your eye.

-Insist that Mom applies any and every beauty product that she is putting onto herself, onto you as well (makeup, deodorant, lotion, etc.)  You know she is only pretending to put it on you, but the point is to slow her down, so you are satisfied with the facade. 

-Hide something (keys, wallet, cell phone, etc.), but claim you haven't touched it.

-Pack 3 bags of random crap that you obviously NEED, then lay in the floor and cry until Mom gives in and lets you take at least one of them along.

-Take your socks and shoes off.

-After walking down the stairs of the front porch, realize it would be much more to fun to hop down them.  Go back and hop down them, no less than 3 times, in a variety of hopping-styles.  Insist that Mom rate each type of hop, and choose a favorite.

-Insist on waving and saying goodbye to the cats on the porch, the dog in the yard next door, the squirrels in the trees, the birds on the powerline....  Encourage your sibling(s) to participate as well.

-Prove your strength by breaking multiple sticks in the yard, on the way to the car.  Demand that Mom watch you break each stick, and commend your strength each time.

-Collect rocks from the driveway. Insist that they must be taken with you.

-Take your socks and shoes off.

-Claim that you left something in your room that you absolutely cannot and will not be expected to leave behind.  If Mom takes you back inside, choose a random object that you haven't played with for at least 3 weeks.

-Announce that you are both hungry AND thirsty, after you have been buckled into your carseat.  If Mom produces food and drink from her bag, insist you don't like whatever she has packed and therefore cannot possibly be expected to consume them.

-Take your socks and shoes off on the way to wherever you are going.  Lose one of the socks.


Sound about right?

♥M