50 Things That Make Me Feel As If I’m Being Punished By a Slow Death

Sitting outside of my daughter’s dance class, listening to her cry about me not sitting IN the dance class with her (again)…after being in dance WITHOUT crying for almost 3 years…has inspired me to pop my earbuds in and write a list of things that make me cringe. 

50 Things That Make Me Feel As If I’m Being Punished By a Slow Death:

1.       Letting my kids “cry it out”

2.       Getting stuck behind a school bus on the way to work

3.       Someone trying to explain football to me

4.       Museums

5.       Watching the cartoon “Caillou”

6.       The last 5 minutes (just kidding – the last 10 minutes) on the treadmill/elliptical

7.       Shopping with anyone other than myself

8.       Trying to figure out a malfunctioning electronic device

9.       The Discovery Channel

10.   The History Channel

11.   Waiting rooms

12.   Being the Designated Driver for a bachelorette party

13.   Leaving the house with no makeup on…then running into a dozen people that I haven’t seen in months/years

14.   Calling my insurance company…or cable company…or phone company

15.   Faculty meetings

16.   Getting my student loan statement in the mail

17.   Ordering food in a drive-thru

18.   Trying to get a cell phone signal in a “dead zone”

19.   Chapped lips

20.   Deciphering kids’ explanations for “What happened?”

21.   Folding footed pajamas

22.   Feeling like I’m being softly choked all day while wearing a t-shirt that has a too-small neck

23.   Vacuuming my car

24.   Balancing my checkbook

25.   Spending more than 5 minutes on my hair

26.   Being in the grocery store with the Hubs AND the kids

27.   The last 2 weeks (just kidding - the last 4 weeks) of pregnancy

28.   Country music

29.   Being bumped into repeatedly in a large crowd

30.   Having something stuck in my teeth

31.   Opening presents in front of people

32.   Trying to pick a knot out of something right after I cut my nails

33.   Traffic jams

34.   Running into someone who calls you by name, and you have no clue who they are

35.   Peeling old wallpaper off of a wall

36.   Talking coming from my radio instead of singing

37.   Getting stuck in a conversation with someone who tries to “one-up” everything you say

38.   Getting stuck in the check-out line behind the person with an “issue”

39.   Being able to hear someone chew their food

40.   Waking up within the hour that my alarm is set to go off and not being able to fall back asleep

41.   Having to refold all of the clothes in the kids’ dresser…every time I go in it

42.   Counting down to our family beach week

43.   Trying clothes on in a dressing room

44.   Watching a kid tie their shoes and resisting the urge to do it for them

45.   Trying to convince my kids to open their mouth so I can brush their teeth

46.   Dusting my blinds

47.   Not making it through the Railroad Crossing in time and having to wait for an entire train to pass

48.   Separating puzzle pieces after the kids dump a dozen different ones out at once

49.   Listening to the Angelina Ballerina CD on repeat

50.   Wal-Mart

♥M