You Can't Fly If You Don't Jump

 

I have received many requests for an update on Stepping Stone Academy!  I am honored to oblige those requests - thanks for caring!

If you want to catch up on what has already happened...

Jump Into Your Purpose

Baby Steps for Stepping Stone

Making Mountains Out of Stepping Stones


The funny part for me is going back and reading those posts...and shaking my head at myself for being SO naïve.  I had no idea what I was getting into...or how much I would LOVE it.

This journey is, by far, the most exhausting, stressful, and Holy-Wow complicated thing that I have ever taken on.  And yes, that includes having two small children (ask me about this when they are teenagers, and I may change my answer).

I recently posted to the blog's Facebook page that I had 2 weeks to be DONE, and my Social Services application turned in.  Since then I have gotten a lot of "WHAT?!" feedback, so allow me to explain:

Social Services is a state agency.

Understand now? 

In all of their wisdom and beautiful bureaucracy, Social Services needs me to accomplish about 6 months worth of work in about 2 weeks of "real world" time.  Why?  So that they can have their full 60 days of leisure to approve it all.  Otherwise, I risk not being approved before our target opening date of September 2.

My one teeny problem with this:  I have been calling and e-mailing the same Social Services office, talking to the same people, asking questions (stupid ones, if I am to judge by their attitude when answering them) and slaving away through the night, EVERY NIGHT, for two months now on all of the crap that they are demanding of me....and you don't think this could have come up before now?!

The mistake that the licensing agent made was acting incredulous when I told her "No problem," she could expect me to show up to my orientation program on July 8 with my application in hand.

She scoffed at me.  I could hear it.  Right through the phone. 

Challenge accepted.

Any energy, perseverance, or sweat that I had invested over the last 8 weeks looked like a total joke when compared to the aftermath of that conversation. 

I am 100% aware that my reaction to this challenge is unhealthy.  The amount of determination I am suffering from is borderline "Lock her up in the padded room!"  In my defense, however, I shared with a friend that I thought I might be kind of crazy, and we ultimately determined that if I was truly crazy...I probably wouldn't realize it.  Therefore, since I AM aware that my behavior is erratic and abnormal - I am not actually crazy.  Do not argue with this.  It has been decided, and I am not open to disputes.

Sleep has been pretty much eliminated from my routine.  No time for such a waste of precious hours.  My meals, when I do remember to eat, have consisted of whatever I can eat with one hand while typing, holding a phone, or driving with the other.  My children have sought shelter at their grandparents' or babysitter's house during the day, climb all over me and sit on my head while I type or make phone calls during the evening, and sleep soundly while I work through the night.  They are annoyed with me, to say the least, but I have explained to them that Mommy has to be a busy jerk for a few weeks, and we will be back to normal soon. They totally understand (No, they don't) and therefore, behave like angels (No, they don't) and certainly don't do crazy, wild things to try and get my attention (Yes, they do).  My mantra right now?  "We will ALL survive this."

So basically, I suck as a mom right now, but I am kicking this application's ass...kind of...sort of...mostly.

You may be wondering what exactly does "the application" mean - what's so terrible about filling out an application?  People do it all the time.  You apply for jobs, credit cards, whatever - we all do it.

The application for licensing a Child Day Center with the state is not just a form to be filled out, however.  I mean, there is a form that you have to fill out (several pages long, in fact), but it's all of the "required attachments" that get you...

Social Services Required Attachments for Initial Licensure:

VA State Corporation Commission Certificate - This is the certificate that you get when you register your business with the State. Check!


Business License - This one was easy.  I just went to the Town Hall, filled out a form, and wrote a check...after I calculated my "expected" revenue for September-December 2014.

Character Reference Letters from 3 people that are not related to you by blood or marriage - I actually had four AWESOME friends who got these to me within a couple of days of me asking for them.  THANK YOU times a million for y'all's awesomeness!  


Annual Operating Budget - HA!  I am tempted to slap my whole bajillion-paged business plan with 3 YEARS of annual budget and cash flow projections on their desk!  I can take zero credit for the numbers, that was totally the CPA from the business center and the credit analyst from the bank, but still - BOOM!  THANK YOU, totally patient CPA and Credit Analyst!  I promise I'm not as dumb as our conversations while constructing this document made me feel.


Evidence of Insurance - My "insurance lady" is on it!  THANK YOU super nice insurance lady who was willing to put up with me calling and saying "Hey...I need insurance...TODAY."


Credit Reference Letter from a Bank - Because the bank that I am working with on this is THE best bank with THE best people ever....the V.P. whipped this up for me this afternoon.  Another big THANK YOU goes here!

Operating Agreement - In your face Social Services!  I already went on Legal Zoom and got one of these for my loan process.  Next!

Asbestos Statement from an Asbestos Inspector - Nice try Social Services, but I asked my bank pals for this weeks ago and we just got it in the mail yesterday.  

Written statement of organization (who is responsible for what) - Yeah, I'm just going to whip up a flow chart for this one.  It'll say:

Employees' Responsibilities = The kids, DUH. 

M's responsibilities = Everything else...oh, and the kids.  Questions?

Signed Sworn Disclosure Statement - This is a redundant form that you are required to fill out and sign, swearing that you haven't committed any crimes.  You turn it in along with your background check....which is proof that you haven't committed any crimes...wait...what...  Never mind.  Printed it.  Signed it.  Done.

Staff Information Sheet - This is a piece of paper that you list your employees on.  At this point, I feel like they are just making random requests for trivial documentation.  This is uncomfortably familiar from being a classroom teacher in a public school....

Copies of any brochures to be used - Really?  You need to see my marketing materials?  I just....*siiiiiigh*  YeahOKSure.  Why not?

Daily Schedule for each age group - Oh dang, I need a schedule!  I was just going to let all of the kids run around and bounce off of each other all day.  I better get on that.  *eye roll*


Inventory of all indoor and outdoor play equipment - When I read this, I thought that I was misunderstanding it - you are probably thinking the same thing.  "Does that mean an actual list of EVERYTHING in the building that the kids can play with (every toy, how many books for each age group, what games, every DVD, CD, piece of sports equipment...)?"  Yes. Yes. It. Does. 

Criminal History Record Check - This has been sent to the State Police and I'm waiting for it to come back....and sweating every time I check the mailbox and it's not there.

Child Protective Services Central Registry Check - Well, if you can believe it, this is a form that has to be mailed to Social Services...and I have to wait to get it back...so that I can turn it in to THEM with my application.  Yeah...try to figure that out.  Actually, don't.  Don't waste the energy.

Building Inspector’s Report - Building should be ready for inspection any day!  Woo Hoo!

Fire Inspection Report - I have a meeting with the Fire Chief on Friday to schedule an inspection and to go over my Emergency Preparedness Plan.  That's another gem of a document that I'm expected to produce.

Department of Health Inspection Report - I called to schedule this and they were like, "Yeeeaaah, you don't need an appointment.  We'll just come out there whenever you're ready."  Ummm, thank you for making that 5 minutes of my life stress-free, you beautiful people!

Floor Plans/Site Plans - I submitted these to Social Services 3 WEEKS ago for the pre-approval process...and this will shock you...I have still not gotten anything back.  It very clearly said on the paperwork that I would get a response in 10 business days.  When I called (and called...and called) and finally got a hold of the Inspector who has them, I was basically told that they were really busy.  When I questioned the licensing office about that, I was again told that they were really busy and it just wasn't a priority.  Nice.

Copies of all forms to be used - Wait...Every form that I will use at the Academy?  For everything that requires a form?  Yes.  Yes, that is what that means.  And in case you want to know how many forms that is... I don't know.  I haven't counted them all, but they are currently occupying a decent sized chunk of my flash drive.

Copy of Policies & Procedures - This is a work in progress.  I'm about a dozen pages deep on the Stepping Stone Academy Staff Handbook and close to the same with the Parent Handbook.  Not even close to done.  Now you understand the constant typing...and the development of what I am fairly certain is carpal tunnel in my elbows.

List of the Director’s Qualifications - How about "I managed to complete this application...without even being rude to ANY of the super snarky people at the Social Services office.  THAT = Qualified." (I have actually been overly nice, even when they are straight-up nasty to me...because I'm kind of scared that they'll "lose" my files if I retaliate.  I feel like there's potential for that to be a real "deep end" moment for me, and I'm trying to avoid it.)  Or I'll just attach a copy of my VA State Teaching License and the Certificate of Completion from the online Director's course that I'm taking.  Either/or, really.
 

Soooo....not your typical "application" after all.
 

Do not mistake this blog post for a complaint, however!  I have learned a lot about myself in just the short time that I started this journey.  For one, I discovered the gift disorder that I possess suffer from.  I'm a challenge junkie.  (Here we go!  Another thing that needs a support group!  See (Awkward Anonymous) The sense of accomplishment each time I mark something off of the list, and realize that I am one little baby step closer to making things happen...it's amazing. 

I have also learned a lot about the people in my life.  There were some who disappointed me, who were unable to find joy in my new adventure, or who tried to use me for their own benefit.  They are greatly overshadowed, however, by the rest.  I have been touched by the amount of support that I have received, the number of people that are willing to help me, and how much happiness people have displayed for me. 

So maybe I am a little stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. 

No really, "maybe" I am - I have no idea, I don't have time to decide.  All I do know is that I feel filled with a purpose, driven towards accomplishing something that will mean even more to others than it will to me, and surrounded by good people willing to share in my journey.

By the way, I hope all of those super supportive people will show up when I do an "all-call" for volunteers to put together furniture and inventory equipment next week. :))
 

♥M

Last of the Lasts

I passed out my last set of report cards, packed my classroom for the last time, and waved goodbye to my last second grade class.

I feel... sad... happy... nostalgic... excited... conflicted. 

I will miss my students and all of their unconditional love.  The stories, hugs, handmade gifts and cards...  The quirks, class jokes, and comfortable routines that you fall into...  The joy in their faces when they "get it" and the pleasure they show when you recognize their hard work and success...  Watching them grow and mature and become smarter, more independent people by the end of each year...Those are the things I will miss about "my kids."

 I will miss my co-workers and the bond that we share over a job that no one really understands without actually living it every day.  The people that I've spent years "in the trenches" with... The people that have thrown me baby showers, been reassigned with, suffered through the worst staff development workshops with, laughed with, cried on, and supported me during tough times...  Those are the people I will miss being with every day.

I will miss joking with the janitors, practicing my crappy Spanish with the cafeteria manager, driving the secretary crazy by forgetting to do my attendance, and leaving coupons for headache medicine on the guidance counselor's desk.

I will miss banging on the door while my breastfeeding co-worker is pumping and ordering a milkshake to go.  I will miss out on taking down my friends snowman decorations and replacing them with white paper "puddle" cut-outs in the floor.  I won't get to use my line, "Do you REALLY want me to answer that?" in faculty meetings anymore.

I will miss my second grade team... my "Mama P," my "Bossy Brother," and being the "Bratty Sister."  You rarely in life find a niche that you fit so perfectly into as the three of us have over the years. 

There are a lot of things, and a lot of people that I will miss.

There are some that I won't.

For a big, fat start - I will not miss working somewhere where I am treated like a hostile life form from Planet Idiot every day.  I will not miss being talked down to, being manipulated, or having to watch my back all day, every day.  I will not miss the stress of always waiting for the next "thing" that I've done wrong, said wrong, or haven't done/said at all.  I will not miss the anxiety of being called to the office, but having no clue why.  I will not miss being snooped on, torn down, and picked apart on a regular basis.  I will not miss the anger that I feel when I watch my co-workers go through the same thing.  I will not miss having to smile and pretend like it doesn't bother me.

I will not miss having to "hold it."  Teachers are real people, with real bladders, people.  We deserve accolades for many things, but the number one thing we deserve recognition for is possessing the superhuman power of being able to go 8 hours without a bathroom break. 

I will not miss leaving my own children every morning.  I will not miss trying to get ready for work while they grab onto my legs, pull on my shirt, cry and beg for me to hold them and stay home. 

Teaching is not a job.  Teaching is who you are, what you do, and the thing that you love. 

At what point do you stop accepting the things that "come with the job," though?  When do you say, "No, that's NOT okay."  Just because we've gotten used to being treated a certain way, assigned certain tasks, or being taken advantage of....does that make it okay?  Teachers suffer many injustices for the sake of teaching.  We are told, however, that if we DON'T - then we must not really love our job, don't care about the kids enough, or aren't as "dedicated" as we could/should be.

I will never quit teaching...but I have quit "accepting."

"Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we realize our own."

♥M

P.S. I try to never disappoint you when you comes to awkward moments, so allow me to share my "speech" from our End of the Year Luncheon...

I attempted to graciously accept a parting gift and return to my seat sans embarrassing myself, but no such luck.  Right as I got to my chair, The Boss asked, "Aren't you going to say anything?" 

Ummmmm....  What to say on the fly?  What indeed.

"Well...this is awkward.  I guess if you know any 2-12 year-old children that need childcare in the fall, please refer them to Stepping Stone Academy.  Oh, and I'm accepting applications if anyone wants a job."

I did throw in something at the end about enjoying my years at the school, etc. 

Public speaking on the fly is not my forte. 

Making Mountains Out of Stepping Stones

Where have I been for TWO WEEKS?!

Mountain climbing.  And every time I get to the top of a peak...I find a new, bigger mountain beyond the one I just conquered.

I turned in my application for our Conditional Use Permit for the Town - check!  I almost had to sell my first-born child to some traveling gypsies to pay for it, but we decided we would miss her if we did.  (At least until the next time she sasses me...then that plan is fair game again.)  Now we just waaaiiiit for the public hearing on June 12th to find out if it will be approved or not.  That's a long time to hold your breath...

The business plan is written - check!  I learned four things from sitting at my computer for 12 hours and writing that blasted thing:

1. You shouldn't skip eye doctor appointments, because I'm pretty sure staring at the computer screen for that long melted my last pair of contacts to my eyeballs.

2. Being a "writer" is of no benefit when constructing a business plan because you're supposed to use the KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid!). That meant I had to constantly go back and remove my beloved adjectives, adverbs, and personal flamboyance.

3. Retraining your brain to write about yourself in third-person is ridiculously hard. I don't like it, and the whole thing sounds, to me, like Elmo wrote it.

4. I am not a fan of writing business plans.

I worked with the Director of the Small Business Development Center through e-mail and it has been edited, revised, and polished.  Now I'm just waaaaiiiiiiiting to meet with the SBDC's Certified Public Account to complete the Financial section.  Shockingly, it turns out that some people have things in their life going on besides getting my business started (ummm what?!), and the CPA is unavailable until next week. 

I did meet with the Loan Portfolio Manager from the bank to discuss loan options.  I was pretty indignant when I found out that my children do NOT count as collateral.  ("But THAT'S where all my money is?!")  I was also informed by the LPM that my financial statement was the funniest one he had ever received.  (Baby Steps for Stepping Stone)  Not because of my financials (which would've been MY guess), but because of all the notes I had stuck on it.  His favorite: the note in the middle of our monthly budget that said, "Don't judge me."

I certainly haven't sat idle while waiting for the inconsiderate CPA to return from her vacation, however.  (Seriously...how COULD she leave at a time like this?!) 

I have turned my attentions to Social Services (a.k.a. The People That Own Me Once I'm Licensed and Forevermore) instead.

First of all, I was an idiot for thinking that reading their 99-page Standards for Licensed Child Day Centers guide three times (with a highlighter...and I took notes!) was an accomplishment.  I was informed by the woman I spoke with at the Central Licensing Office that I also needed to make friends with the following documents:

Code of Virginia (56 pages)
Background Checks for Child Welfare Agencies (42 pages)
General Procedures and Information for Licensure (37 pages)

No problem.  I like to read.  I mean, usually it's like, a murder mystery or historical fiction....but, I can be a good sport and highlight stuff and take notes in all these manuals, too.  I'll have to do it in my "spare time" though, because she dropped another pile of "to-do" in my lap, as well.

Also, it turns out that having a degree in education, and 7 years of teaching experience, isn't enough to qualify me as the Director of my own facility.  If you're thinking, "No way!" don't worry, I'm right there with you.  Ok, so a 20-hour online course to get "management training" and a Director's Certificate, it is.  No biggie, I've been through worse.

Now let's talk employees...

I was patting myself on the back for having most of the "who" parts worked out.  THAT is always my first mistake - feeling accomplished.  Finding the perfect employees is a drop in the bucket.  I also need to make sure that they have/receive the following:

1. 24 hours of staff development (before we open)
2. CPR certifications
3. First Aid training
4. MAT training (for giving out meds)
5. Training in identifying and reporting child abuse
6. Training in performing Daily Health Observations
7. Tuberculosis screenings
8. Background checks (including sworn statements, criminal history, and registry checks)
9. Staff orientation

Well, that's cool...I'm just going to have to talk everyone into giving me their entire summer.  I'm sure they won't mind.  I will bribe them with...love and appreciation. 

And while I'm reading, taking an online course, and training my staff... I just need to type up a few documents.

1. Emergency Preparedness Plan (which has to be coordinated with your Local Emergency Manager)
2. Injury Prevention Plan
3. Playground Safety Plan
4. Student/Parent Handbooks (with Policies & Procedures)
5. About 30 different forms for registration, medicine, allergies, etc.
6. Employment applications
7. Employee contracts
8. Schedules for each age group
9. Schedules for employees
10. LOGS FOR EVERYTHING

No problem!  I'm an organized person.  I found some resources online for a lot of it (I'm a Google pro...but so is my mom).  I even have a friend who offered to help type and create documents (LOVE her!)

So where does that leave me?

Tired.  That's where.

And yet...still excited!

I'm working with a designer that a friend hooked me up with on my logo.  (Eeeeek!)  I have my website up and published.  (It's still a work in progress though - I don't have all the info I need to call it "done" yet.)  I'm scheduled to attend my orientation with Social Services on July 8th.  (I was told to bring all of my "friendly" documents along...ugh.)  I'm also supposed to meet with an insurance agent to get quotes on liability insurance for the business in the next few weeks.

Oh yeah...

And I'm still teaching second grade full-time...while trying to fit in the whole "wife and mother of two" thing...

The hubs needs a shout out here.  He has been cleaning (only as is absolutely necessary, but still...whatever he does - I DON'T have to do)  He has been dropping off AND picking up the kids.  He has been the "dance mom" when I couldn't.  He even took on the task of researching grants for me.  He's earned major brownie points.

The important thing to remember is this:  It CAN be done.  It WILL be done.  And WHEN it is...

“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.” - George Sheehan

 

♥M

 

Jump Into Your Purpose

First let me apologize to my readers for completely abandoning you for a SOLID WEEK!  I promise that I haven't been twiddling my thumbs, though; and I hope that my excitement over why I have been absent will help you to forgive me...

Last week, I got a message out of the blue from an old co-worker at the bank.  It was one of those innocent things that can start an avalanche in your life...and this did, for sure.  The message was basically this: We (the bank) own a building that has been renovated to be a daycare.  We heard you are staying home next year, and thought you might be interested."

Psssssh!  Yeah, right.  I had made it clear to the 278 people that had previously suggested it - I was NOT opening a daycare.  That was one of those life's dreams of mine, and I was all too aware of what the venture would entail.  It would mean giving up everything (and every dollar) to strike out on my own, risk my family's security, and all just to become a small-business statistic concerning failure in the first 3 years. 

So on Friday, I went and checked out the building with the bank's V.P. 

It took my breath away.  It was so perfect, it hurt my insides.  The set-up is such that we could actually live upstairs and run the daycare downstairs.  I could live at work.  (Which is great, because I need any help I can get with my genetic predisposition to being 5 minutes late...or more...everywhere I go.)  I started dreaming on the spot...and that made me nervous.  I didn't deserve this!  I couldn't pull this off!  I didn't have start-up money for a business!  Every concern I had was waved away, only making me more hopeful...which made me REALLY nervous.  "What do you need from me?  What are you looking for?" I asked my tour guide.  The short answer?  Someone with a passion for children, who will commit to this project 100%.  Someone who will put the blood, sweat, and tears into this place to get it where it should be, and offer this community what it needs.

She described me.

I lost all control of my dreams, hopes, and "what if's." 

She handed me the key and told me to think about it over the weekend.  I spent the whole weekend obsessing, researching, and sharing my meanderings with my family.  I took the hubs to the building and showed him around.  He was immediately in love.  "M!  This is what we've been waiting for!  We can do this TOGETHER and BE TOGETHER like we always dreamed!"  I tried to talk him down.  "It's going to be our whole life!  It's all we'll do, all we'll think about, all we'll have time for!" 

"But we'll be TOGETHER.  We'll do this TOGETHER." he says.

And that was the end of my will power to say "No." 

I spent the weekend with my nose buried in business manuals, social services standards, and zoning and building code requirements.  I made lists and crunched numbers.  I called every contact I have that I thought could possibly offer me advice...or talk me out of it.  I consulted with a realtor, two social workers, a previous daycare manager, the principal of the school across from the building, someone on the county's board of supervisors, an insurance agent, a loan officer, and my pastor.  I spent hours on the Internet searching for helpful articles about starting a business, how-to blogs, and procedural manuals. 

I was a woman on a mission.

The most productive part of of it all?  Finding out exactly what people thought of me, and my potential business prowess:

"Sometimes, your plan isn't God's plan."

"Once your fire is lit on something, NO ONE can stop you - you WILL make this happen.  I know it."

"Life is like a puzzle, but you don't have the box cover with the picture, so you don't know what it's supposed to look like when you're done.  You just have to let Him fit the pieces together."

"If there was anyone that could succeed at this...it's you."

"Maybe this is what God's been preparing you for all along.  You've been through things and had experiences that, without them, you might not have been prepared to climb this hill."

"It's going to be a lot of work, but you can do it.  There isn't anyone who won't believe in you."

Wow.  As I'm sure you can imagine - hearing words like that...to your face...when you're feeling totally NOT confident...I cried.  (By the way - this stuff is documented now, y'all, so don't try to take it back when I fail miserably! Haha!)  I knew that I had super awesome friends, and that my family loved me... but to have that amount of support when you are doubting yourself?  Well, obviously, I was super awkward and said something to ruin the moment every time, but STILL - I heard their words, and it made my heart swell.

So what have I been doing this week?  Well, I have read enough state and federal material to probably fill three novels.  I have begun working on a budget and a schedule, researched and decided on a business structure, registered my business with both the state and federal government, secured my official certificate from the State Corporation Commission for my business... I've been busy. 

The to-do list is endless.  I still have to finish my research on all of the costs for start-up equipment and supplies, recruit top-notch potential employees, set up training and certification classes for said employees, get business and zoning and licensing through my town/county/state, and work my way through grants/loans. 

I should be overwhelmed. 

I'm not.  I'm enjoying the challenge.  I'm embracing the sense of accomplishment that each item checked off of the to-do list brings me.  That also worries me.  Why am I not freaking out?  Is six days just not enough time to fully realize what I am doing?  Will it sink in next week, or next month?  Or am I just actually on the path that I am meant to be on?  Am I FINALLY realizing a purpose, and a mission, and fulfilling some part of my destiny that's been waiting for me to catch up?  (Whoa, getting kind of touchy-feely again...)

Right now everything is in the "dream phase."  At any moment something could rear it's head and snatch all of my dreams away.  THAT is what my life's experience tells me.  THAT is what leaves me feeling skeptical at the conclusion of each daydream. 

But why let that stop me?  Why live waiting for the other shoe to drop? 

I can't.  I will never realize this dream unless I push through all of the self-doubt, ignore the people who aren't as supportive as my real friends and family, and take the biggest risk I've ever taken in my whole life.

Which leads me to what I decided to name my preschool.

I have faced many obstacles in my life.  Many things that I could have chosen to stumble over and not get back up from.  We all have.  Our children need to be prepared for the same thing.  If there is anything that I am passionate about, it is children...and their education beyond standardized tests and letter grades. 

Stumbling blocks in life are only stepping stones, but only for those who have been prepared to be strong, tenacious, adventuresome, and independent.

Which is why I am pleased to announce that I am the official owner and director of Stepping Stone Academy, LLC.

"Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall."  - Ray Bradbury

♥M



The Life Cycle of Laundry

We have an established pattern around this castle with our laundry system.  It goes as follows:

1) I wash everything in the whole house that can be balled up to a size smaller than the circumference of the washing machine door.
2) I keep up with regular, follow-up loads for a period of time. 
3) One terrible day, I wake up and discover that the dirty laundry has bred during the night and there is a Mount Clothes-erest in my laundry room. 
4) I spend a whole day doing laundry, thus starting the cycle all over again.

Today was the end of a cycle, meaning that I spent from sunup until now (well, whenever that last load finishes...) washing every textile in this house.  This day in the laundry sequence always makes me extremely grouchy - not BECAUSE I'm doing laundry, but because of what I FIND in the laundry.  Today's treasures included Dora the Explorer knee pads, 4 stuffed animals, a set of sheets that I had washed, dried, folded and set out to be put on the kids' bed, but had been returned to the hamper instead, and best of all: an entire bag of clean clothes that the kids had left at my mom's house, and she had washed and returned.  An. Entire. Bag. Of. Clean. Clothes.

It doesn't matter if it WAS clean, it just sat in the laundry room for a week in a pile of dirty clothes and now I have to wash it all AGAIN. 

The best part about spending the whole day doing laundry is that you have no evidence of anything being accomplished when you are done.  All of your hard work is folded up and put away in drawers or hung up in the closets.  Today, the rest of the house looked like a disaster response team should be called in because I pretty much ignored all of the other messes the kids were making all day while I was folding clothes.  I surveyed the remnants of a blanket fort, the knee deep pile of toys in the kids' room, the stickers all over the couch, and the trail of crushed pretzel dust from Jace driving her tricycle repeatedly over a rogue pretzel in the kitchen floor that had missed the dustpan in a maintenance sweep earlier.  Hmmm...I decided to call and prepare the hubs for this before he got home.  I wanted to save him from himself, and eliminate the risk that he may walk in and say something really stupid like, "Hey, this place is a wreck - what did you DO all day?!" 

"Hey babe, FYI the house is a wreck, but I got ALL of that laundry done!"
"That's cool... Wait, the house is so bad you called me?!  Do I need a hazmat suit or something?"
"Not quite."  (I described the scene.)
"Oh, well I'm not going to be home for like, an hour so...."
"Stop.talking.now.I.don't.want.to.have.to.kill.you.in.your.sleep...Ok.love.you.byeee!"

Phew.  Good thing I called him.

There's another phone call I need to make, though.  I need to call MY mom.  The woman who did MY laundry (and four other people's too) for 17 years.

I need to tell her THANK YOU for the following:

-every stain she removed.

-every tube of chapstick, balled up piece of paper, and handful of change that she rescued from our pants pockets (or rocks, dandelions, Barbie shoes, chunks of dried Play-doh...).

-every shirt that she turned right-side out to fold (especially the long-sleeved ones).

-every clean item that she probably washed about 3 times before we actually put it away or wore it.

-every wet towel she found in the floor...or on the bed...or behind the door...

-alllll of the socks that she ever unballed before putting them in the washer.

-every missing sock she found in a random place around the house while cleaning, and returned to it's home - clean - without anyone even noticing.

-actually, for just even allowing us to wear socks....because I'm seriously thinking about banning them altogether in this crash pad.

-anything she ever had to "sniff-check" to see if it was really dirty, or just got thrown in the floor.


Ok, the last load is done!  Now it is time for me to make my traditional declaration - the avowal that I make at this juncture of the laundry cycle each and every time:

I will NEVER let this pile get this big again. (HA!)

Also, I hung a sign on each of the dressers that says "If you unfold/remove any of the items in these drawers for any reason other than to put it onto your body and wear it for an entire day - I will cut you."


♥M

Top Chef - Watch Out!

 

 

I'm feeling super proud and domestic tonight for 2 reasons:

1. I baked brownie bites AND cupcakes - on the same night.

2. Neither of them were horrendous disasters.

 

Don't get excited or be stupid - they were both boxed mixes.  I would never be so dumb as to bake from scratch and ruin that many ingredients and waste that much time in one fell swoop.  It's not my thing.  I accept that and it really doesn't bother me anymore. 

 

 

 

 

I used to be super jealous of my friends and family that could bang out awesome, homemade creations.  Now I just appreciate the stuff that they cook...and know my limits.  We all have gifts and talents.  Usually, they happen to coincide with what you really enjoy doing (not always...but usually).  Once it finally dawned on me that I wasn't even really ENJOYING cooking or baking, I got over the fact that I wasn't exactly on my way to winning any competitions.  Not that I'm a total quitter - I still cook.  Only as necessary, however.  You know, like, dinner...or if someone says "Hey, can you bring...?" 

 

 

 

 

Like I said, though - know your limits.  We all have them...especially in the kitchen. 

My process for evaluating new recipes:

1. How MANY ingredients are involved?  (My limit is 5.)

2. Can I pronounce all of the ingredients?  (No?  Forget it.)

3. Is the prep time longer than 15 minutes?  (If so, not going to happen.)

4. Will I spend more on the crap that goes in this, than if I just went to a restaurant? (Yes?  Then grab the car keys.)

5. Who is going to be eating it? (People other than the hubs and the kids?  Forget it - I don't need this stress in my life.  Or the lawsuits after I poison everyone.)

6. How complicated are the directions? (If I have to call someone for clarification, it's best to just move on.)

 

 

 

Rest assured that if you are invited over to my house for a meal, there will be no experimenting in the kitchen.  I will either be serving frozen pizza or something that I have made enough times (with positive results), that there is no way I'll screw it up (spaghetti, chili, FROZEN PIZZA...)

 

 

 

 

 

Before you think I'm exaggerating, or being too hard on myself, let me share some of my most epic failures with you. 

 

1. One year, for my daughter's Lalaloopsy themed birthday party, I attempted to make pink and yellow swirled sugar cookies.  The picture online was super cute.  I didn't even MAKE the cookies - I used a mix.  Somehow they all ended up purple.  And hard.  Oh, and I wanted them to look like buttons, so I used a straw to punch holes in them...before I baked them.  DUMB.  Hard, purple, blobs - THAT'S what went in the favor bags.

 

2. The next year, I kept it simple.  I sent cupcakes to the babysitter's house.  I iced the cupcakes too soon, though; so what I actually sent was soggy cupcakes in a sea of icing.  Good thing 3 year-olds don't care what their sugar fix LOOKS like.

 

3. I made deviled eggs for my grandfather's retirement party.  I even got fancy and used a piping tool for the filling....which DID NOT MATTER because I put too much mayonnaise in the mixture and it all bled all over the place by the time we got to the party.  They tasted great - but no one was brave enough to find that out.  (I don't blame them.)

 

4. I ruined Hamburger Helper.  I used spoiled milk and it tasted like sewage.  In my defense, I had just bought the milk that day, so that was their foul.  In my husband's defense, he ate half of his like a champ, not wanting to hurt my feelings, until I took a bite and screamed, "WHY ARE YOU EATING THIS?!"

 

5. And the most epic of all?  I left a pot of boiling water on the stove and forgot I was cooking.  I burnt the pot.  I screwed up boiling water.  Fail.

 

 

 

 

 So cooking isn't my thing.  That's Ok!  It actually works out well for me, because now that it's been pretty established by my "A for effort" failures, people know better than to ask.  I'm the person who brings chips & dip to parties, canned green beans to Thanksgiving dinner, and store bought desserts to baby showers.  Do they sell it at a bakery or deli?  Then I got it!

♥M

 

 

 

To All My Friends! (God Help You.)

I've been thinking a lot this weekend about friends... specifically, that I have really good ones.  More specifically, that I'm not always a great one.

I try.  I really do.  For some reason, I have been blessed with friends in my life that remember birthdays, anniversaries, and even if I mentioned having a doctor's appointment.  I suck at remembering my own birthday, anniversary, AND doctor's appointments.

You will tell me repeatedly when and where you are going on vacation and I will still call you that week and ask if you want to go to the gym or out to dinner because I have no idea where you are. I will probably forget to tell you when I leave for vacation and you will likely not know where I am because every time you asked me when I was going away I said, "I dunno...it's written down somewhere..."

I forget to answer texts, return phone calls, and always R.S.V.P. to things a week after the date on the card.  If you e-mail me and don't get an answer in 5 minutes, then it'll probably be 2 days before it happens.  If you tell me something and DIDN'T see me write it on my hand or put it in my phone, then expect to have to tell me again.

 I periodically scroll through my texts and find a bunch of "drafts" where I started to respond to people that had text me but didn't finish or hit send.  They never got answered and now that person thinks I have ignored them. Crap.

If I don't call you on your birthday, then please know I thought about you AND about calling you at least a dozen times that day....but became immediately distracted each time.  I will probably text you at 11pm and try to play it off.

Unfortunately, the thought doesn't always count. Right now there are two cards sitting on my kitchen counter - a thank you card and a sympathy card. They have post-its on them with the addresses of the people I got them for. It would take less than 5 minutes to mail them. They have been there for a month. The thought does NOT count because neither of those people know that I bought them cards. Epic fail.

Despite what all of this suggests, I am actually NOT totally disorganized.  I am just constantly distracted.  And I am not distracted because I don't care.  Quite the opposite.  I am distracted because I care SO MUCH, that I try to do it all and BE it all.  I try to be the perfect mom, wife, big sister, cousin, niece, grand-daughter, aunt, sister-in-law, teacher, co-worker, church member, sorority member, committee member....and friend.  I spread myself so thin that I end up neglecting everyone.  Except my kids.  They're the loudest, so they always get my attention first.

And yet, if you are my friend, know this:  I love you.  I will be honest with you (sorry about that).  I will FIGHT for you.  I will protect you.  I will give you anything you need - even as literal as the shirt off of my back (or my bra - I gave a friend my bra one time....it's a long story).  I will stop what I'm doing to help you.  I will come over and cook or clean for you if you can't.  I will babysit your kids, no questions asked.  (I will not get distracted and forget they're here, promise.) 

I might forget to call you on your birthday.  I might say something overly honest and offend you.  I might embarrass you in public.  (Don't worry - I embarrass myself too.)  You might have to convince me that you DON'T need me to put on war paint if someone does you wrong. 

Just know, however, that my heart is in the right place...and I AM trying. 

So to all my friends - love y'all!  (Poor souls.)

♥M

Jumping the Fence

Tonight's blog post is a bit of a plea for feedback.  I'm preparing for my new journey staying at home next year... and my decision to "jump the fence."  Instead of dropping my kids off every morning, I thought - "Why not let people drop their kids off here?"  It's the perfect middle ground, really.  Next year is Jace's last year before starting Kindergarten, so I had planned on "playing school" and getting her ready.  Why not make it the real deal and teach other kids too? 

The hubs is on board (Woohoo!) and has graciously allowed me to delegate many things onto his to-do list.  The most exciting of all - turning our backyard into a preschool-sized playground.  I'm way more excited about that that he is.  Probably because he has to build it. 

In just the few months since I started sharing all of this, I've already had people shake their heads and call me crazy.  "Why would you want EXTRA kids running around?!"  .....What?!  Why wouldn't I?!  That's my job now, crazy!  I take care of and teach 20 students while juggling the county, state, and federal requirements every day!  What the heck kind of work is half a dozen to me!  I won't be doing anything different than I would be with just my kids...I'll just be doing more of it.  Plus, I happen to like kids.  So that helps.

This is the part I would like feedback on:  I sat and typed up a list of questions that I have ever asked any babysitter I've interviewed...and a few that I WISHED I had asked later.  I thought I could share that list with you and get some feedback on what you might add, etc.  Here's my list:

1. What made you decide to start taking care of other people's children?
2. What age children are you keeping?
3. What are your qualifications/experience?
4. What are your drop-off and pick-up times?
5. How much do you charge?
6. Do I still have to pay for a full week if my child leaves early/arrives late/misses a day?
7. What do you provide and what do I have to send?
8. What other adults will my child be exposed to?
9. How do you handle discipline?
10. What if YOUR kids are sick?
11. What if YOU are sick?
12. What if you have a doctor's appointment?
13. Are there any pets in your home?
14. What if my child gets hurt?
15. How will I know about my child's day (what they ate, how nap was, etc.)?


See anything missing?  What pet peeve have you had to deal with when looking for childcare?  I appreciate all feedback! :)

♥M

May I Have Your Attention, Please?

I was going to wait until Spring to be all official about "announcing" anything, but the Spirit has moved me to do it now...

I'm totally kidding!  I live in a small town, so most people that I know personally (and probably many that I don't), already know that I'm not returning to my job as a classroom teacher next school year.

Why?

Well, I could say it's because I'm tired of teaching....but I'm not.  I love teaching.

I could say it's because of the the insane amount of paperwork and "documentation," and the increasingly unrealistic expectations made of my profession....but I suppose a lot of jobs are like that.

I could say it's because I can't handle all of the politics and drama....but I do.  I handle it daily; and have done so for several years now.

Maybe it's because of all the *ahem* "enthusiastic" parents out there?  I mean, I HAVE been cursed, threatened, harrassed, bullied, and slandered.  Nope.  I'm good at my job, so I say "bring it."

Or could it be that I'm tired of being a punching bag for administration?  Nah - I've been through enough crap to have earned a black belt in the art of defending oneself against psychological warfare...so you'll have to practice your mental "mind-ninja" tactics on someone else.

Ok...so WHY?

BECAUSE... I decided that dealing with all of the beforementioned things is just not worth leaving my two girls at the babysitter every day. 

I just can't help but to feel like I'm giving up the blessing that is time with MY children in order to face a daily battle as an army of one in the good fight that is making a difference for my students.  It's discouraging to spend your days sacrificing the bulk of your time away from your own children, trying to "make a difference," just to be told on a regular basis that all of the caring, compassion, and help that you give other people's kids every day is not enough and never will be. 

I have just plain grown weary of being told to acheive miracles...then having every rug pulled out from under me, every ladder rung I must climb sawed through, and having to do it all with a blindfold on.

This was NOT a decision made lightly, or quickly, but what it ultimately came down to was this:
I have two passions - teaching and making a difference.  Next year I'll be doing both of them....at home.

♥M

10 Things That Will Only Ever Happen on a Weekday Morning

It never fails that Saturday mornings are mellow and drama free.  I imagine that's because the family has exhausted itself with all of the Monday-Friday morning shenanigans.  This list is a compilation of true stories...and most of them have happened all on the same day.

Things that will only ever happen while I'm attempting to get ready for work:

*Alternate title: Things that bring me to Jesus in the morning:

1. Pulling a muscle in my hip by tripping over a pile of mega blocks.

2. My toddler insisting that I hold her...while I brush my teeth and put my makeup on.

3. My toddler "helping" me brush my teeth and put my makeup on.

4. My 3 year old laying in the floor (under my feet) and crying for 30 minutes until I finally figure out that she wants a different headband.

5. Sneezing while I'm applying mascara. 

6. Having to remove wads of doll hair from my hairbrush before I can use it.

7. The cat knocking over an entire container of crystal light powder. The red kind.

8. My husband leaving for work...with my car keys.

9. Realizing, after I'm completely dressed and ready, that you can see my bra through my yellow shirt.

10. Leaving for work at the last second, realizing I drove home with the gas light on the night before and forgot about it, then while I'm pumping gas, remembering that my laptop is sitting on the kitchen counter.

Sometimes, I really wish I liked coffee.  Specifically, the Irish kind.

♥M

Woes of the Working Mom...The House!

One day.  I've been back to work one day. 

Today was my first day back to work post-holidays, and the initial thought that popped into my head when I got home, unlocked the front door, swung it open, and surveyed the ruins was "Oh my God. It's like Goldilocks has been here...with all of her sorority sisters."  Someone left dishes in the sink (but I just washed dishes last night?!)  Someone left dirty clothes in the bathroom floor (but I did laundry all weekend?!)  Someone left toys strewn across the living room, crayons dumped on my nightstand, stuffed animals piled under the kitchen table, some interesting "make-up art" on the bathroom cabinet, and half of my jewelry spilled in the floor under my jewelry box.  The whole house is like a crime scene, frozen in time; the remnants of what "went down" this morning while I accomplished the super-human feat of getting ready for work with and almost-2-yr-old an almost-4-yr-old running wild off of their early morning energy surge. (They did NOT get that from me.)

What amazes me most is that they are ABLE to create such destruction and chaos in their environment.  The oldest is about 40 lbs. and the youngest about 30 lbs.  So, you're talking like, 70 lbs. of kid total - that can produce up to 10X that weight in straight up MESS.  It is indicative of their species to be messy, loud, and rambunctious, yes.  However, it's almost as if my children are in constant training for some "5RM Trash-a-Houseathon" that I've failed to be aware of. 

I've tried charts, threats, rewards (OK, bribes), and all kinds of begging and pleading.  There has got to be a way to keep the house clean and not feel like a nag.  My first goal is to better train the kids to pick up after themselves.  I'm not setting an end-date for that goal, by the way. 

♥M