Part II: The Honeymoon Phase
We might not have had a storybook romance leading up to the wedding, but the honeymoon was perfect. Sand, sun, drinks, bonfires, sunset cruises...it was perfect. Well, mostly.
You have to consider that we'd been together for 3 years, and 2 of those years were long distance. So while we loved each other intensely, we were also used to a certain amount of space... and living in separate towns. Needless to say, eating, sleeping, and breathing the same air for a solid week became a challenge. I think it was about Day 6 or so that I actually threw my ring at his head on the way back from the hot tub. It was obviously something super important and worth throwing my ring over, since I don't even remember what it was.
Then we came home and had the excitement of our first house to keep us busy. James had spent months gutting and renovating it, and while it wasn't quite complete (we brushed our teeth in the kitchen sink for a while), it was OURS. Problem is, you can't take two larger-than-life personalities, mash them together in holy matrimony, dump them in an 800-square-foot house in a Mayberry town, and there NOT be fireworks. Oh, the fireworks.
We are so different and yet so alike, that it's honestly just scary. We're both loud and fun. (Fun? Or obnoxious....hmmm....guess that depends on YOU. haha) We're both compassionate. And at 21 and 22 years old, we were both selfish and stubborn. (In other words...we were 21 and 22 years old.) The first year was spent with our horns locked, debating pretty much everything from how to properly load a dishwasher, to what brand of laundry detergent we should use, to who got to pick the paint color for the spare bedroom (since we were OBVIOUSLY not going to agree on one). Sidenote: no one ever even saw the spare bedroom because we kept it full of boxes until we turned it into a nursery...and repainted it. Soooo glad we made a big deal out of the original paint color.
My favorite example of how ridiculous we were is called "The Home Depot Incident." Yes, it has a title. And yes, our friends know exactly what we're talking about when we cite it.
Our new house needed a new front door. No problem, let's go get one. The problem - we almost got divorced right in the middle of Home Depot over which door to get. I was determined to have Door A. James was refusing to concede, and loading Door B onto a cart. Not to be thwarted, I procured my own cart.
"Put Door A on this cart!"
"I will not. We're getting Door B!"
I made a fool of myself trying to put the damn thing on the cart alone, then stomped off to find help. I returned with a guy who put the door on the cart...while James pretended like he didn't know me. I started towards the checkout line when James sealed his fate:
"You are NOT buying that door."
Ha! We glared at each other from separate checkout lines. We attracted some stares in the parking lot as we angrily shoved our respective carts out of the door....and to the same vehicle. We stood at the back of the truck and finished duking it out until James went and returned one of the doors. Here's the funniest part - we don't remember which door we got. I cannot tell you, right now, who "won" and whether we got Door A or Door B. Again, super important argument.
And yet, here we are. We're still loud and fun (or obnoxious, whatever)...just at tea parties under the kitchen table now, not sorority socials or field parties. We're still compassionate...probably more so with other people than with each other, though. (Oh, you had a long day? So sorry...are you going to change that poop diaper while I'm cooking dinner?) We should work on that. That's the beauty of it though, we have a lot to work on but we're not scared to take it on anymore. We had to quit trying to force everything onto the other one, and just grow up together. That blog post, 10 Tips on How To Fight Fair? Yeah, that's all from experience....with doing the WRONG things. If you don't try - even if you mess up - then you don't learn.
In my opinion, the honeymoon phase propaganda is a crock. There's nothing magical about learning all of each other's annoying habits and having to share your stuff...every day. But if you make it through to the other side, then...you've earned your anniversary, my friend.
So here's to sleepovers with my best friend every night for the rest of my life! (Even if he does have a really annoying habit of yanking the comforter off of me while he's sleeping.)
♥M
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