Love...With or Without the Memories
The Greatest Love Story of [All] Time
Happy Valentine's Day!
A Day to Remember
*THE Meltdown*
So I finally had the inevitable tear-fest about my grandparents. I knew I would get around to having a good cry about everything eventually, and I could feel it coming for a few days before it hit. I had been cleaning the house like a maniac all week, and while I was ever so vigorously scrubbing the shower the other night, I broke a tile loose. (Whoops!) From there, I just pretty much immediately turned into a hot mess. I cried and cleaned for another hour before I just sat in the the kitchen and sobbed dramatically all over the "was-clean" kitchen table. The hubs knows better than to get involved when I build myself up to one of these doosies, so he just kept to the safety of the living room. I was wearing one of his sweatshirts though, so he did request that when I was done snotting all over it, to please put it in the laundry room and not hang it back up.
After I finished crying and blowing my nose (on his sweatshirt, of course, HA!) I decided I needed to drag other people into my meltdown. (Good grief, M.) I did this by texting my immediate family and a few close friends and telling them that in light of everything going on and how crazy things had been lately, I felt the need to let them know I loved them and that they were important to me. I did this for three reasons: 1) Because we don't really tell people how we feel about them very often. 2) Because it terrifies me that one day I might not be ABLE to tell people that I love them because I won't remember who they are. And 3) Because I was in a highly emotional state and didn't really think the whole thing through.
I'm not saying it was a bad idea, just that it might not have been a totally good one. For starters, I really freaked a few people the hell out. Not everyone is as "Hey World! This is how I feel!" as I am. I sensed that those people were more annoyed and/or made to feel awkward by my declaration than anything. Still, everyone but one said, "I love you, too."
Almost half of them, however, were alarmed that something was wrong. Like that I was dying or something...I'm not sure. (Possibly, because I am rarely very serious...) This told me that maybe I need to "push pause" for the people that are important to me more often - SHOW them they are important, not just TELL them. Then they won't think I have a fatal disease when I tell them.
What stops me from calling it a bad idea, though, is that a few of the messages I got back were things like "I had a really bad day and needed that!" This reminded me that it's important to BE that positive boost, that pep talk, or that much-needed hug when our loved ones need it. It's not hard to be there for people if we just SLOW DOWN and notice when they need us. If I hadn't sent that message, then I never would've known my friend was having a rough time at work, or that my brother was feeling that same way I am about things.
What started out as me being crazy upset and needing to reassure MYSELF that others knew I loved them, turned into a lot of little lessons about how I can do better at BEING a loved one. My "loved ones" might be important to me, but that doesn't really mean much if I don't ACT like it...calling them that in my head, through a text, or on Facebook is just NOT enough.
So here's to slowing down! Here's to letting the world rush by and just waving as it passes!
(Disclaimer: This will NOT be an overnight process for me.)
♥M
No comments:
Post a Comment