The Rugged Maniac



As you will have noticed with this post, I did in fact survive the 5K obstacle course that all of my training posts were in reference to...

High on Aspiration...Low on Ability

High on Aspiration...Low on Ability - Part 2

High on Aspiration...Low on Ability - Part 3

High on Aspiration...Low on Ability - Part 4

High on Aspiration...Low on Ability - Part 5

I have to admit, I had really psyched myself out about this Rugged Maniac race...and it wasn't that bad. 

I don't mean that I was some total badass that dominated every obstacle and sprinted the whole course.  Not even close.  I did TRY every obstacle and only failed at two; but there was definitely more than one challenge that required teamwork and a helping hand (or two). 

What impressed me thoroughly about the whole thing, however, was the whole atmosphere of the "race."  All of the super competitive, every-man-for-himself types must have been in the first few waves of runners; because, by my 10:45am heat, the whole attitude was one of FUN, "go at your own pace," and "we're all in this together." 

I had a blast, and told my brother-in-law when we finished, "I feel like I could climb a mountain right now!  I CAN'T!  But I FEEL like I could!"

And since my dedicated readers seem to remain loyal, despite the fact that I constantly remind you what a crazy person I am, I will share my 3 HUGE pre-race fears with you:

1. My contacts...because if I lose one, then I can't see (duh).  Like (-7/20) Rx can't see.

2. My hair...yeah, yeah, I might not spend a lot of time on it, but I do try to make sure I won't be mortally embarrassed if I see someone I know when I leave the house.  What if I lose my headband?!  What if my bobby pins come out and my bangs end up standing straight up with mud?!  These are valid female concerns.

And speaking of female concerns...

3. My lady parts...I am sooooo sorry right now for my male readers, but let's get real - no lady wants her undies full of mud.  And for those that were worried about it, I did remember to wear undies - you're welcome (Freaky Friday).

I am happy to report that none of  my fears were realized; and I was a well-sighted, mostly comfortable person with respectable enough looking hair - including my headband - at the end of the race.

The course itself was 3.1 miles long and had the following obstacles:

1. Small Walls  - After a decent trail run over pretty clumsy-person-dangerous terrain, we arrived at two pieces of plywood that we were supposed to jump over.  Yeah, I climbed over them.  Carefully.

2. A-frames - A huge wooden A-frame ladder...only the "rungs" were like 3 feet or more apart.  These were my favorite because I actually climbed up, over, and down like a spider monkey and that made me feel super cool.  I did take a kick to the throat by an excited guy next to me, but he said, "Sorry," so I forgave him.

3. Mud Crawl - Crawling in mud...under BARBED WIRE?!  Um, no thanks on getting sliced up.  I went a little overboard on staying low here, because I have been known to miscalculate the size of my derriere and bump into things.  Not that big of a deal if it's like, a table, but a super huge deal if it's like, BARBED WIRE.  So I stayed almost totally flat in a push-up position and drug myself through the mud by my arms.  A good workout, to say the least (but my bum stayed safe).

4. Jump Trench - When I got to these huge pits in the ground, I thought, "Crap."  I have NO confidence in my ability to jump over things.  I clench up in the air and drop like a rock.  My landings are terrible, even if they are on my feet.  I got a running start, held my breath, and made it over about three or four of the pits before I got to one that was like, 5 FEET across and I screeched to a halt immediately.  I am not Batman - I will not pretend that I can jump that far.  That is the one and only thing I refused to do all day, and I walked around it.  I finished jumping over the rest of the totally reasonable, albeit terrifying, 3-4 foot wide pits and carried on.

5. Crawling Trenches - MORE BARBED WIRE!?  Back on my stomach, but this time I frog kicked/army crawled through the mud, under that danged barbed wire.  I am positive that THIS will be the ONE thing that they got a picture of all day.

6. Mud Pit - It was a pit...of mud.  Naturally, I got stuck and had to hold onto to a super sweet girl who took pity on me, and pulled myself out of the quicksand-ish mud.  At this point, I am already starting to be annoyed by all of the MUD.  Really unfortunate considering I had 19 more obstacles to go through.

7. Buoys - Huge pit of muddy water lined with buoys.  People were swimming under them.  They obviously didn't wear contacts.  I climbed over them all (very gracefully, I might add).

8. Tall Walls - These were huge plywood "walls" that you were supposedly going to be able to pull yourself up and over.  What am I, a Navy Seal?!  Basically, my brother-in-law boosted me as high as he could and I grabbed the top and pulled myself up onto my stomach, slowly did a 180, and fell over the other side. Then, I got my entire right leg stuck in mud up to my thigh and the trusty brother-in-law had to hold my arm while I horse-kicked my leg out of the mud (very UNgracefully, I might add).

9. Ladder Walls - Basically a repeat of #2.

10.  Show Catcher - Appropriately named, this involved wading through muddy water that dropped off in random places and varied from knee-depth to chest-depth mayhem.  Then, you got to a straight up wall of slick mud....that you were expected to climb up.  The ONLY reason I made it over was because of some awesome people that took it upon themselves to lay across the top and hold their hands down to help.  I really hope they were from out-of-state (and that I never see them again) because once I had run-climbed the wall as high as I could, they helped haul me over the top - but I landed like, ON them...and rolled down the other side. 

11. Bag Carry - This one made me laugh.  You had to throw a weighted sack across your shoulders and run to the next stop.  Please.  I carry one 30-lb. kid AND one 40-lb. kid on my shoulders/back/hips on a regular basis - at the same time.  These people should be ashamed to tell any mom that this was an "obstacle."

12. Tube Crawl - You slid down a tube, landed in mud, waded through it, and climbed up another tube.  It was harder than it sounds.

13. Pole Hop - This is an inaccuracy on their itinerary - THERE WAS MORE BARBED WIRE!  This time I just lay down in front of it and log-rolled under the whole she-bang.  Great plan, except I had no sense of time and space when I stood up on the other side.  I had to climb the mud hill on the other side at a diagonal angle because I was so dizzy, I wasn't sure where the ground was.

14. Ring Cross - These were rings that you had to swing from one to the other across a pit of muddy water.  This was the first EPIC fail I had.  My hands were so muddy that as soon as I jumped off of the platform and went to swing from one ring to the next, my hands slipped, and I went swimming.  I had to do the climb of shame out of the water hole. 

15. Mulch Climb - This was a GIGANTIC mountain of mulch that you had to literally run up and then down.  I want to know what they did with it afterwards, because my front yard is looking kind of shabby right now...

16. Balance Beam - Literally a balance beam (across a pit of muddy water, of course).  I rocked this.  All you had to do was walk...quickly and carefully.  Score.

17. Twin Peaks - I dunno what this name is supposed to mean, but what it was - in real life - was a scarily forever-long, mud tunnel under the ground that you were SUPPOSED to crawl through; but my knees and shins were so shredded at this point that I couldn't.  Instead, I crouched/squatted and used my fingertips to walk through the tunnel Orangutan-style.  Luckily it was dark, so no one could see this.  Another stupendous workout.

18. Seesaw - You had to run up a huge seesaw and then down the other side.  It looked really scary, but was easy enough to boost my confidence and lead me to believe I could try the next thing...

19. Ninja - Four boards, set at an angle, diagonally from each other, over a pit - you are SUPPOSED to "Ninja-leap" from one to the other.  I ran, jumped, and after hitting the first board, my confidence died an immediate death - I called it quits mid-air and dropped into the pit.  Epic fail #2.

20. Mount Maniac - Another appropriately named obstacle.  This was the one that I NEVER would have done, nor probably EVER could do, without help.  There was an insanely high wooden wall you had to get to the top of...then a rope wall to climb across AND up...then a slide to go down.  The wooden wall you had to "climb" was ridiculous, and if my brother-in-law hadn't pushed me while another guy pulled me, I wouldn't have made it.  I needed the guy at the top because my hands were covered in mud and and even though I could jump and grab the top of the wall, I kept slipping.  He grabbed my arm after my hands slipped the last time and ended up completely pulling me over the top of the wall.  At one point he asked me, "Are you Ok? Do you have a grip?" and I told him, "NO!  If you let go, I will fall and take down all of the people under me!!!"  He yanked me over the top and I thanked him (again, hoping he was from out-of-state).  After that, the rope floor/wall was no problem.  BUT - the slide scared the crap out of me.  Sitting at the top of it and looking down was intense.  I almost climbed back down the wall.  A girl offered to push me...but that freaked me out even more, so I just closed my eyes and did it.  Phew!

21. Superhero - We swam through....you guessed it!  Muddy water.

22. Crawl Under - MUD.

23. Pit - MUD.

24. Cargo climb - Running up...and then down...a mountain of...MUD.

25. Fire Jump - Running and jumping over three separate rows of burning logs.  Terrifying stuff for a clumsy jumper, by the way.

And then...THE FINISH LINE!  1 hour and 45 minutes after leaving the starting line, we were DONE!  It felt...insanely euphoric.  Enough so that people were actually getting ENGAGED at the finish line.  I couldn't see well enough to tell if there was a ring, and it was actually planned, or they were just CRAZY high off of the race and acting on endorphins.  My brother-in-law and I watched that madness, celebrated with a respectably brief hug and then then bee-lined to the truck to grab our phones and snap pics of each other to send to our spouses.  We're definitely bonded for life after this, but not in a Jerry Springer kind of way.  (I live in a small town, I have to state these things, sorry.)

Because I was so invincible after my race, I decided I would take advantage of my "free beer" wristband that came with my race registration.  I have been through college (including being a sorority girl) and have NEVER been able to drink a beer.  But I was a Rugged Maniac now!  Surely I could drink a beer!?  Phew - I tried.  I ended up sipping on it for 30 minutes and then had to pass it off on my brother-in-law.  Apparently, I am not THAT rugged yet.  *Gag!*

Did I enjoy it?  YES.  Will I do it again? YES.  Am I insane?  YES.

The fact that the whole thing was like a personal challenge rolled into a team-building exercise was awesome.  Hopefully, next year we can talk some people into joining us and make a whole team!  The sense of accomplishment when you cross that finish line - it's like no other!

"You are never late to live."

♥M