Jump Into Your Purpose

First let me apologize to my readers for completely abandoning you for a SOLID WEEK!  I promise that I haven't been twiddling my thumbs, though; and I hope that my excitement over why I have been absent will help you to forgive me...

Last week, I got a message out of the blue from an old co-worker at the bank.  It was one of those innocent things that can start an avalanche in your life...and this did, for sure.  The message was basically this: We (the bank) own a building that has been renovated to be a daycare.  We heard you are staying home next year, and thought you might be interested."

Psssssh!  Yeah, right.  I had made it clear to the 278 people that had previously suggested it - I was NOT opening a daycare.  That was one of those life's dreams of mine, and I was all too aware of what the venture would entail.  It would mean giving up everything (and every dollar) to strike out on my own, risk my family's security, and all just to become a small-business statistic concerning failure in the first 3 years. 

So on Friday, I went and checked out the building with the bank's V.P. 

It took my breath away.  It was so perfect, it hurt my insides.  The set-up is such that we could actually live upstairs and run the daycare downstairs.  I could live at work.  (Which is great, because I need any help I can get with my genetic predisposition to being 5 minutes late...or more...everywhere I go.)  I started dreaming on the spot...and that made me nervous.  I didn't deserve this!  I couldn't pull this off!  I didn't have start-up money for a business!  Every concern I had was waved away, only making me more hopeful...which made me REALLY nervous.  "What do you need from me?  What are you looking for?" I asked my tour guide.  The short answer?  Someone with a passion for children, who will commit to this project 100%.  Someone who will put the blood, sweat, and tears into this place to get it where it should be, and offer this community what it needs.

She described me.

I lost all control of my dreams, hopes, and "what if's." 

She handed me the key and told me to think about it over the weekend.  I spent the whole weekend obsessing, researching, and sharing my meanderings with my family.  I took the hubs to the building and showed him around.  He was immediately in love.  "M!  This is what we've been waiting for!  We can do this TOGETHER and BE TOGETHER like we always dreamed!"  I tried to talk him down.  "It's going to be our whole life!  It's all we'll do, all we'll think about, all we'll have time for!" 

"But we'll be TOGETHER.  We'll do this TOGETHER." he says.

And that was the end of my will power to say "No." 

I spent the weekend with my nose buried in business manuals, social services standards, and zoning and building code requirements.  I made lists and crunched numbers.  I called every contact I have that I thought could possibly offer me advice...or talk me out of it.  I consulted with a realtor, two social workers, a previous daycare manager, the principal of the school across from the building, someone on the county's board of supervisors, an insurance agent, a loan officer, and my pastor.  I spent hours on the Internet searching for helpful articles about starting a business, how-to blogs, and procedural manuals. 

I was a woman on a mission.

The most productive part of of it all?  Finding out exactly what people thought of me, and my potential business prowess:

"Sometimes, your plan isn't God's plan."

"Once your fire is lit on something, NO ONE can stop you - you WILL make this happen.  I know it."

"Life is like a puzzle, but you don't have the box cover with the picture, so you don't know what it's supposed to look like when you're done.  You just have to let Him fit the pieces together."

"If there was anyone that could succeed at this...it's you."

"Maybe this is what God's been preparing you for all along.  You've been through things and had experiences that, without them, you might not have been prepared to climb this hill."

"It's going to be a lot of work, but you can do it.  There isn't anyone who won't believe in you."

Wow.  As I'm sure you can imagine - hearing words like that...to your face...when you're feeling totally NOT confident...I cried.  (By the way - this stuff is documented now, y'all, so don't try to take it back when I fail miserably! Haha!)  I knew that I had super awesome friends, and that my family loved me... but to have that amount of support when you are doubting yourself?  Well, obviously, I was super awkward and said something to ruin the moment every time, but STILL - I heard their words, and it made my heart swell.

So what have I been doing this week?  Well, I have read enough state and federal material to probably fill three novels.  I have begun working on a budget and a schedule, researched and decided on a business structure, registered my business with both the state and federal government, secured my official certificate from the State Corporation Commission for my business... I've been busy. 

The to-do list is endless.  I still have to finish my research on all of the costs for start-up equipment and supplies, recruit top-notch potential employees, set up training and certification classes for said employees, get business and zoning and licensing through my town/county/state, and work my way through grants/loans. 

I should be overwhelmed. 

I'm not.  I'm enjoying the challenge.  I'm embracing the sense of accomplishment that each item checked off of the to-do list brings me.  That also worries me.  Why am I not freaking out?  Is six days just not enough time to fully realize what I am doing?  Will it sink in next week, or next month?  Or am I just actually on the path that I am meant to be on?  Am I FINALLY realizing a purpose, and a mission, and fulfilling some part of my destiny that's been waiting for me to catch up?  (Whoa, getting kind of touchy-feely again...)

Right now everything is in the "dream phase."  At any moment something could rear it's head and snatch all of my dreams away.  THAT is what my life's experience tells me.  THAT is what leaves me feeling skeptical at the conclusion of each daydream. 

But why let that stop me?  Why live waiting for the other shoe to drop? 

I can't.  I will never realize this dream unless I push through all of the self-doubt, ignore the people who aren't as supportive as my real friends and family, and take the biggest risk I've ever taken in my whole life.

Which leads me to what I decided to name my preschool.

I have faced many obstacles in my life.  Many things that I could have chosen to stumble over and not get back up from.  We all have.  Our children need to be prepared for the same thing.  If there is anything that I am passionate about, it is children...and their education beyond standardized tests and letter grades. 

Stumbling blocks in life are only stepping stones, but only for those who have been prepared to be strong, tenacious, adventuresome, and independent.

Which is why I am pleased to announce that I am the official owner and director of Stepping Stone Academy, LLC.

"Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall."  - Ray Bradbury

♥M