Please Read If You Happen to Work For The Devil

First, let's establish that I am writing this list for no reason whatsoever.  Well, except to warn people that you should not (I repeat - do NOT) say any of these things to your employer. 

So it’s kind of, sort of a totally random public service announcement…

Things that you can’t say to your boss or you will get SUPER fired:

1. "How was Mr./Mrs. Satan this morning, when you left home?"

2. "Did they have career counseling at your college or university?"

3. Frantically run into his/her office in the morning and shout, "I changed my mind! You didn't drink your coffee yet, did you?!"
4. "You probably don't get, 'Be yourself!' a lot, do you?"

5.

6. "Would it upset you to know that I have garlic cloves, a wooden stake, and a hand mirror behind my back?"

7. "How do you fit all of those snakes under your wig!?"

8. "Have you been drinking before work again?"

9. "I thought of you while I was unclogging my toilet the other day."

10.

11. "I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but I'm betting it's hard to pronounce."

12. "Everyone is good at something! I'm sorry you're 'thing' is making people miserable."

13. "I suppose if you just keep talking, eventually something intelligent will come out."

14. "Can I share a thought with you, or would you have any where to put it?"

15.

16. "I've noticed that your reality and mine seem to keep missing each other..."

17. "If  you haven't had the time, I can run to the drugstore for you and pick up refills of any meds that you may have recently stopped taking..."

18. "I hope you enjoyed your business trip!  The rest of us did!"

19. "I'm not sure why I seem to be learning more from your mistakes than you do..."

20.

♥M