There is one Mommy War that I will never be able to participate in. I will not win, and refuse to even compete in, the "Food Battle." It's not that I'm a sore loser, I just have a lot of things to choose from when it comes to stressing out....and this is not one of them.
I just think I would be much more likely to invest the resources necessary for eating the "perfect food" if:
A) I didn't have a job, or anything else to distract me from the constant necessary research into which foods are going to kill me or are the most humane...this week (it changes fairly often).
B) I had a six figure budget to spend on the outrageously priced items necessary to eat as "hip" as all the other hippies.
C) My kids were never, ever going to be exposed anywhere at anytime to foods other than the ones I allowed them to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I'm totally pro-healthy food. My kids eat fruits, veggies, nuts, cheeses, yogurt, whole grains, etc. I'm not feeding them twinkies for breakfast or anything - I just try to encourage "healthy eating" without being a total buzzkill at birthday parties.
With that said - Have I let them eat popcorn for breakfast before? Yes, I will admit to that. In my defense, it was one of those mornings where they had taken turns waking each other up all night, it was just me and the girls the next morning, we were all super exhausted and kinda weepy...so yeah, I was only half conscious and totally handed over the oh-so politely requested popcorn (i.e. it was screamed at me). I knew even in my weary, bloodshot state that there would be 101 more things to fight about that day (before nap time); and with that knowledge, I could totally live with popcorn for breakfast.
If you don't have children yet, please let me warn you now - every lunch you pack, every meal you cook, and every trip to the grocery store will be prime fodder for a "Food Battle" with some hipster who lives and breathes judging other people's diets.
Think you're doing good for packing fruits and veggies in the lunch? WRONG! Is it local produce? Is it "certified organic?" Was it grown on a "pesticide free" farm? Did the farmer test the irrigation water for safety?!
Ok, so dairy is good for you, right? Some low fat yogurt, 2% cheese, milk....WRONG! Milk is a deadly poison that contains growth hormones, fat, cholesterol, allergenic proteins, antibiotics, bacteria and viruses. (I actually read that somewhere, as much as I would like to claim the neurotic statement...)
Well, everyone needs meat. I'll just make sure I get the "lean" kind...right? WRONG! Do you know where that meat came from? Not what state - what farm?! Was the animal grass-fed? Was it free-range? Was it organic grass-fed in an organic pasture?! Otherwise you're eating parasites, germs, and hormones. Idiot.
Don't suggest fish, please. There is the sea lice infestation to consider, after all. Omega-3s be damned!
Whole grain (or any grain) = death by lectins, gluten, and phytates.
Does your head hurt? Yeah, so does mine...every time I am graced with a new one of these life-style threatening factoids. And yet, knowing all of these things, I still allow my children to eat boxed macaroni and cheese and deli meat. I hate that I aaaalmost feel bad about it...and then I don't.
If they end up in jail for street racing or lose their college funds in an underground poker tournament, then I'll just blame the phytates and allergenic proteins.
♥M
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