Maybe I sound like a 5 year-old, but....I hate bedtime. I don't know if that's a medical condition or some type of repressed defiance from having a ridiculously early curfew imposed upon me in Junior COLLEGE, but either way, the struggle is real when trying powering down at night. When the sun goes down, my brain goes nuts. THIS is when I remember the name of that guy from that show that did that movie that came out when I was in high school that I was trying to think of earlier today. THIS is when I decide to do major home projects or organize my closet. THIS is when I decide to catch up on two weeks of laundry. THIS is why it's no surprise that I'm not a morning person.
I think the technical term is "Night Owl." I call it "Mommy's Quiet Time." This is when I pay the bills, fold towels, download music for my running playlist, grade papers, scroll through Facebook, load the dishwasher, call my girlfriends, have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband, and oh yeah - write blog posts.
I have to play mind games with myself to actually make it as far as getting into the bed. I do this thing where I set my alarm clock for the next morning and then it turns into a countdown. "If you go to bed now, then you'll get 6.5 hours of sleep!" "Nah, I'm still good. I'll just finish (random thing) first." "You'll be sorryyyy...." "No one asked you - now be quiet, Law & Order: SVU is on."
Once I finally make it so far as to physically go to bed, I have to begin the mental shutdown. These are some of the things usually bouncing around while I'm trying to do so...
20 Reasons I Can't Fall Asleep at Night:
(*This is not an exclusive list and the contents vary on a regular basis.)
1. I compose blog posts in my head.
2. I have to make notes about the blog posts in my head so I'll remember them when it's actually a good time to write a blog post.
3. I think about the Gremlins movie....yeah, that'll keep you awake.
4. I mentally construct a killer grocery list. I will remember none of it tomorrow.
5. I start ticking through the contents of the dozen bags I have packed for the next day (work papers, laptop, lunch, diaper bag, gym bag, dance bag, etc.) to determine if I forgot anything. If I did, I make a mental note to remember it in the morning. (I won't.)
6. I imagine various alarming scenarios involving someone breaking into the house if I fall asleep and how it would all play out. I usually end up saving everyone...obviously.
7. I hum songs that are stuck in my head. Unfortunately, they are not cool songs. They are the theme songs to Sofia the First or Good Luck Charlie.
8. I decide that I should paint my nails tomorrow. (I won't.)
9. I feel thirsty so I get up and drink a whole glass of water....20 minutes later I realize a sip or two probably would have sufficed because now I have to get up again. Ugh.
10. I come up with the perfect seating arrangement for my classroom. (I won't be able to remember it tomorrow.)
11. I think of the perfect comebacks for anything really crappy that someone said to me that day.
12. I wonder how X's mom is doing, how Y's grandfather's surgery went, and if Z ever heard back about that thing. I vow to remember to ask them all tomorrow. (I won't.)
13. I remember seeing Jeepers Creepers in the theatre. It messed me up, man.
14. I mentally redecorate the living room.
15. I mentally put all the clean clothes away....damn,..they're still there in that basket in the corner.
16. I laugh out loud at something funny from work that happened 3 days ago.
17. I remember that I forgot to e-mail somebody. (I'll forget again by tomorrow.)
18. I try praying, then get distracted, then go back to praying, then get distracted again, then just give up trying to be all formal about it. (He can hear it all anyway, duh.)
19. I get up to triple check whether I locked the front door or not. (I did. I unlock it then relock it... again... just to make sure.)
20. I pretend like I'm asleep when James growls at me and says, "Go to sleep!"
All of this is why I limit my caffeine intake.
♥M
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