Thursday, January 9, 2014

Top 5 Places to Take Your Kids...if You're Looking to be Embarrassed

Top 5 Places to Take Your Kids...if You're Looking to be Embarrassed:

1. The Grocery Store... I didn't start using the phrase "I will beat you on the bread aisle" for no reason.  These trips guarantee any range of embarrassing scenarios from your children pointing out a passer-by's bad hair to a full-on "Clean up on Aisle 7" involving broken glass and pickles.

2. Pretty Much ANY Store... On second thought, just don't take your kids shopping if you aren't in the mood to refuse every snack and toy you pass, deal with them changing their minds every 30 seconds about whether they want to walk or ride in the cart/stroller, or you were dumb enough to leave the house without being fully equipped with sippy cups and electronics.

3. The Doctor's Office... If you've ever had to suffer through entertaining a child in the waiting room of a doctor's office, then I salute you.  There is no way to make these torture rooms fun and for some reason, kids want to touch/lick every germy surface in the place. Gaaaaag!

4. Church... This is where your children will try out that new curse word you didn't realize they had picked up, sing a ridiculously inappropriate Top 40 song you didn't realize they knew the words to, and repeat things you've said so out of context that you end up on the prayer list.

5. Your Workplace... Remember that story you told your husband last week about that annoying co-worker? Yeah, so does your kid.  You know that toupee/mole/annoying voice that your boss has, but no one dares to comment on? Yeah, your kid noticed that too. Out loud.

♥M

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