Stop, Drop, and RUN

When my kids are actually playing well together, entertaining themselves, and so involved in whatever they are doing that they are not demanding my services...I take advantage.  I sneak off to load the dishwasher, throw some clothes in the dryer, open the mail, get dinner started...you get the idea.  All moms, however, have a super-sense of hearing that is fine tuned to pick certain, distinct sounds that are specific to your own offspring and their particular brand of shenanigans.  These are the things that set my Spidey-senses tingling and make me stop what I'm doing, drop what I'm holding, and RUN to prevent disaster. 

Sounds That Make Me Stop, Drop, and RUN:

1. The toilet flushing.  Hearing the toilet flush does NOT necessarily mean that someone went to the bathroom.  It COULD mean that you need to call a plumber A.S.A.P. because of whatever thing someone just attempted to flush.  Past examples include: toothbrushes, the cat's food dish, a shoe, puzzle pieces, etc.

2. Paper ripping.  Could be a coloring book page and no biggie.  Could be my checkbook, family photos, or the water bill.  It's best to find out quickly.

3. Beeping noises.  Specifically the ones that sound like they are coming from the washer, dryer, dishwasher, ice maker, or my cell phone.  Kids + expensive appliances = NO.

4. Chair legs scraping the floor.  If you need a chair to reach it, in 99% of the cases, you are not supposed to have it.  Intervention is necessary...immediately.

5. "I found my scissors!"  Yeah, I'm going to need to be in the same room as you when you're cutting stuff.  I know I'm a buzzkill and all, but I have to insist on regulating WHAT you cut, sorry.

6. Cabinets and/or drawers being opened/closed.  You BETTER not be pulling stuff out of your dresser for your fourth wardrobe change of the day, drawing on yourself with lipstick you got from my makeup drawer again, or pilfering through my jewelry box to "borrow" things AGAIN - because I'm headed your way to find out.

7. "That's not food!"  Big sister liking to boss little sister comes in handy here.  When I hear big sister yell that, it usually means that little sister is sampling the play-doh or eating another tube of chapstick.  Insert clever distraction for toddler *here.*

8. Diaper tape being undone.  That ripping sound that the diaper tabs make when you pull them loose?  Very distinctive.  And very much a reason to investigate. 

9. "Look at me!"  Could be a "Look at my princess dress and high heels" kind of cry.  Could be a "I just stacked all the plastic drawers from my kitchen set into a platform and am about to jump off and land on my head" kind of cry.  Clarification is important.

10. Silence.  This is the worst.  The most dangerous noise of all.  Silence is NOT golden when kids are playing in their room.  They could be playing quietly....but they are NOT.  They are avoiding detection and you need to investigate the second you hear the dreaded sound of nothing.

And now you know why my sink has dishes in it and my clothes never make it farther than the laundry basket in the corner of my room.  I'm way too busy with my side job as an investigator to keep up with the housework too.

♥M