Why do two-year-olds get such a bum rap? The phrase "terrible twos" is just inaccurate. For one thing the "terrible" behavior starts well before 2 years....and it definitely lasts longer than 3.
I have to tread lightly when complaining about my kids and the stuff they say because it's not like I can blame it on anyone else. Between the hubs and myself there's no hope for them to escape their genetic predisposition to eventually mature into some curious combination of sass and smartass. Usually, I get a real mirror check by way of hearing something outrageous cross their lips. (Jace to her sister: "You are acting straight up ugly! Carry that to another room, girl!" Daire to Jace: "I'ma get you BUTT!")
I'm so used to the dramatic scenes of these two tiny females that sometimes, even in the midst of full-on hysteria, I can maintain a single train of thought about whatever it is that I continue doing. Now, before you think I'm totally heartless, I'm not talking about when they are physically or emotionally hurt. There's a big difference between being hurt and having a tantrum. Boo-boos get kisses and hurt feelings get heart-to-heart talk-time (on a preschool level....this usually involves 4-5 interruptions of "Hey, guess what?" before we're "done".) Tantrums get squat except me stepping over you to go about my business.
A good example would be this morning- Daire wanted my makeup while I was getting ready for work. I told her no. She cried. I offered to put lip gloss on her. She threw herself in the floor. I offered to let her put the lip gloss on herself, but would only relinquish control of the applicator, not the actual tube of lip gloss. She smacked the applicator from my hand and rolled around in the floor. I picked her up and put her in time out. She went limp and slid from the chair, into the floor and lay, spread-eagle, sobbing uncontrollably in the hallway. 30 seconds later she was back in the bathroom, doing pull-ups on the vanity and knocking whatever she could reach off of the counter. I picked her up and put her back in timeout. She flung herself face first out of the chair, into the floor and kicked her tiny legs until her shoes flew off. The whole thing lasted a good 20 minutes and not once did she stop screaming at an unearthly decibel, "MY MAKEUUUUP!"
That, my friend, is a tantrum. What. Is. The. Proper. Response. To. THAT.
I'm always reading these mommy articles, blogs and books looking for parenting advice. I mean, my kids are awesome, but they do a lot of crap that makes me go "wonder how to fix THAT." Y'know like TANTRUMS. Let me tell you what TICKS ME OFF about all this great parenting advice - it sounds good until you use it. Be real people, ALL kids are different and mine - yeah, they aren't following the little scripts that you wrote out for us to follow. For example...
Advice: If your child does 'A' then you should respond with 'B.' They will then do 'C' and everyone will be happy and bake cookies and play in a spotless playroom just like the one in the picture at the top of this article where the mom and kid are laughing together from having solved all their differences amicably and butterflies are coming out of everyone's butt.
Real life: My child does 'A' so I respond with 'B.' Then they do 'G,K,L,Y,' and say 'V,R,W.' Now I'm trying to figure out what page all of that is on and what I did wrong with my application of 'B.' No cookies, no playroom, and no butterflies.
What IS the proper response to tantrums? I mean, I guess I could prevent them by... I dunno, always letting them have their way, but I'm not really down with that... for a lot of reasons. I'm more of a, "Hey, go cool off and get back to me" kind of mom. But is that effective?! I mean, my oldest is almost 4 and she regularly has these PMS-type emotional outbursts. ("How could you offer me Kix cereal instead of Honey Nut Cheerios?! I will NEVER be your best friend AGAIN!!!" Cue dramatic flop onto her bed and sobbing.) Sooooo.....does this just last until they're like, 30 years old? Or is there a break somewhere between 5 and 13?!
This is one of those nights where I call my mom and apologize for my childhood transgressions.
♥M
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