Lately, there's been this crazy vibe all around me that makes me feel like I'm stuck in some kind of limbo between the Twilight Zone and The Jerry Springer Show. I have no idea what the cause is, I'm just saying it's there.
Between family drama and work drama and your own drama, sometimes it just feels like you're in a tornado of other people's feelings and emotions. The only way to get through it is to figure out how to hold on tight....and make sure you keep your feelings separate from theirs.
The problem with feelings is that we aren't content to just TELL someone how we feel. No, no. As a species we have this driving urge to obtain validation, commiseration, and camaraderie for every emotion we experience. If we're happy, we share it - we want others to share our joy! (That's cool.)
But if we're sad or mad we often feel the need to urge others into feeling the same way, either for or with us. It's not enough that someone pissed us off, hurt our feelings, or totally blew our mind - we NEED to hear someone SAY "You're right, you SHOULD be mad/sad/mindblown!" It's like we don't trust ourselves to have feelings without someone else endorsing it.
Own your own feelings. Decide how you feel about something or someone based on your own experiences. Feedback and advice are good...when it's constructive, informative, and FACTUAL. Don't confuse fact and opinion or allow other people's passions to influence your own. And when you do have a messy sea to storm, make sure you don't allow others to keep you drowning in it. If you are over something, it's ok to move on...just reach back and offer to pull the others out with you, without letting them pull you back in.
You are in control of YOU. No one can make you feel any way about any thing unless you allow them to. "How you act emotionally is a choice in any situation." - Judith Orloff
♥M
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